


worry for one's own heart

by mickykay



Category: Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-09-03
Updated: 2013-09-08
Packaged: 2017-12-25 12:29:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,285
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/953111
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mickykay/pseuds/mickykay
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cuteness involving a silly prank, one of the two is wounded, the other tries to help and can't- angst ensues. Written as an exploration of their relationship, and will be continued as I think of new situations to write about.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A night of firsts and dumb tricks

"Alec? Baby, come on, back to bed already."

"Can’t."

Magnus sat up, ran a hand through his hair and rubbed his eyes tiredly. “Why’s that, then?”

"Not tired."

"Well, I never said we had to-"

"Magnus, please." Alec turned back to face him, the moonlight missing his face and leaving whatever expression he carried a mystery. "I need you to understand."

"What am I understanding?" He asked, throwing the covers off and moving towards his boyfriend. He didn’t feel so sleepy anymore, he couldn’t- not when Alec was clearly upset about something.

"You know I like you, right?"  
Magnus stood in front of him and pulled him in by his waist to press their heads together. “Of course I know that. Why? Is that what it is? You think I don’t know how you feel? You think I don’t feel it?”

"No. That’s not it. I just wanted to be sure you did know." He heaved a great sigh, so deep his whole body moved in sync with his lungs. "Magnus, I have to leave. I can’t stay here. With you. No- no, it’s not about you. It’s about me. And my family. And my friends. Izzy is the only one who knows who- what, I am, and I haven’t even been able to tell her about this.”

Magnus slid his hands around Alec and pulled him in closer. “Alec, please. Don’t. Not because of something like that. I can be there when you tell your friends. Fuck, I’ll tell them all for you, if it makes it easier for you.” He nuzzled into Alec’s neck and murmured, “I love you.”

Alec froze in place, not from shock- well, a little from shock. Not only had Magnus never been so tender with him, but neither of them had dared mention the word ‘love’. It always made things too difficult. He froze out of disgust at himself- how could he even have considered leaving? When this was what he got to come back to? He looped an arm tightly around Magnus’s waist and ran his other hand through his hair. “I love you too,” he whispered into his ear.

Magnus pulled away slowly and twined their hands together. “Come on, now, sweetheart. Bedtime.”

Alec responded with a fleeting smile and a quick kiss. “Okay.”

And, as they stumbled together back across the room, giggling, a noise was heard from downstairs. Alec instantly stiffened. “What was that?”

Magnus, his usual relaxed self, shrugged it off. “Probably nothing. Maybe one of those vamps who was in here earlier left his bike keys, or something.”

There was another crash. This time Magnus looked up, wary. “Okay, honey, I’ll go and check it out. Wait here, it’ll only take a sec.”

He pulled his hand away and stalked towards the door, grabbing a shirt from the pile of both their clothes that was accumulating at the end of the bed and pulling it over his head. Alec didn’t move. He doubted anything was really wrong, but he didn’t really like Magnus going anywhere without him. Still, a few bumps coming the street level of what was known as the favourite party location for all Downworlders, and even a few other Shadowhunters, was hardly likely to be a big deal.

Magnus threw him a cheeky grin from the door as he pulled it open. “Back in a second, darling,” he told Alec with a wink, and then he was gone.

Alec heard another crash from downstairs, fainter this time, and felt a wave of relief- maybe it was absolutely nothing, and anyway, that sounded as if it were getting further away. He stood awkwardly for a few moments longer, then realised he was getting cold and that standing around in his underwear certainly wasn’t helping that. He took the few steps left between him and the bed and slid beneath the covers contently. His eyes were about to slip shut when he heard a fourth crash, followed by a loud curse from Magnus, and a snarl.

Alec leapt back out of bed, pulled on a pair of jeans and someone’s shirt, grabbed the nearest knife- he had them stashed all over the apartment, to Magnus’s annoyance, and practically threw himself down the stairs, pausing only to pull his spare dirk from its sheath under the banister. He charged into the vast space that was the ‘party room’, as Magnus called it, and was shocked to see neither his boyfriend, nor anyone else- or anything- in the room. His Hunter instincts kicked in and his worry for Magnus sky-rocketed. He knew the warlock could take care of himself, obviously, but to not find him where he knew he was meant to be-

This train of thought was cut off as an arm slipped around his hips from behind and, without even having to turn, he recognised the softness the Magnus’s hands, and the mischievousness of the whisper in his ear, “got you.”

"Magnus! What was that all about?!” He demanded, and, not being able to pull the warlock off completely, spun in his arms. “Do you think it’s funny to play tricks on people like that?”

The other ran a hand down his thigh and pulled him in for a deep, all-tongue kiss that sent a shiver down his spine. “No,” he replied, “but I do think it’s kinda sexy how you can’t help but charge down here after me. Do you value me so highly?”

Alec, unable to stay angry, relaxed, and draped his arms over Magnus’s shoulders, “alright, fine. You’re forgiven. Idiot. But, you do owe me for this. And I’ll be cashing that now.” 

Alec pulled Magnus back up the stairs, put his knives away, and all but shoved him back into bed, grinning.


	2. a twist of fate and an impossible thing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Someone is injured in circumstances that should never have been possible, the other does what he can to help.

Magnus woke early- the crack of dawn, in fact, as he always did, and found himself on his back, with Alec draped over him. He sighed contently and pressed a soft kiss to his lover’s forehead. Reluctantly, he pulled himself out from the warmth and comfort he was getting almost too used to, stood, and stretched. He sauntered lazily into the kitchen and set about making coffee. Another thing he was becoming too accustomed to. Why did Shadowhunters have to drink so much of the stuff anyway? Milk, sugar- wait, honey. Alec always insisted that sugar in coffee was gross.

He brought the two steaming mugs back into the bedroom and sat down on the bed beside Alec. This was the best way to look at him- asleep, when he was devoid of worries and concerns about his Hunter friends and keeping Downworlders in check and fighting demons and who knows what else.

“Come on, time to wake up, darling. Wakey- wakey. I brought you coffee.”

Alec groaned and turned away, swatting at the air. “Don’t want to…”

Magnus smiled softly, picked up the mugs, and walked around to the other side of the bed. “Have to, sweetheart. It’s morning.”

Alec turned back onto his back, yawned, and sat up slowly. “So? You could have let me sleep a little longer,” he told him, “damn warlocks, always getting up so fricking early.”

“That is because the morning is the most beautiful time of the day. And,” he began, “it’s also when one’s stupid annoying boyfriend is at his most beautiful.”

Alec allowed himself a grin. “Alright, fine, I’m up. But, you know, if you used flattery like that on me more often, I might listen to you a little more.” He said, clambering out of bed and taking one of the mugs from Magnus’s hands. “What’s on the agenda today? Anything important?”

“Eh, nothing much, just a few little annoying wolf issues to deal with- apparently they don’t mind almost killing themselves if it means they do some damage to whatever vamps they’re fighting at the time.” He shrugged. “I don’t really understand it, but I think I should help.”

Alec leant in and pressed a fleeting kiss to his lips. “You,” he said, “are too nice to them.”

“Anyway, do you want to come with me? I mean, I don’t exactly need help, but, you know, you’re an exception.”

“Sure. Let me just get dressed first.” He started towards where he usually left his clothes, then stopped, and turned back. “Magnus, have you actually washed anything recently? Or do we have to keep wearing these?” He gestured at the accumulating mass of discarded clothes on the floor at the foot of the bed.

Magnus raised an eyebrow. “Believe it not, I did wash some, yesterday. They’re in the laundry. Get me something, too, would you?”

“Yeah, alright.” Alec ran a hand through his hair, yawned again, and picked his way through the huge mess that was Magnus’s bedroom to the small laundry.

“T-shirt, t-shirt, jeans, other jeans- yeah, that’ll do,” he murmured, sifting through what little Magnus had actually cleaned. 

Hearing a tap on the window, he looked up, expecting to see a bird or swarm of bugs or some other such commonplace thing. What Alec was not expecting was to see what resembled a small pterodactyl glaring down at him- a demon, weak, but obviously already enraged and therefore still potentially formidable. He snatched the sword he’d hidden behind the washing machine from its sheath and, applauding himself on his the ingenuity of his hiding-blades-everywhere habit, prepared for a fight.

Magnus heard the tapping, faintly, and thought nothing of it, until he recognised the sound of a blade being drawn and the soft thump of a pile of clothes being dropped. Quickly, without thinking to arm himself, he rushed into the other room just as the demon broke through the glass and Alec slashed at it.

“Alec!” He gasped, unable to restrain himself, and Alec turned for a fraction of a second to meet his eyes. It was all the time the creature needed. It surged forward and scraped its beak over the Hunter’s face. Alec spun back, stabbed it through the chest, and continued to slash at it until it disappeared, but it was too late. A demon bite was dangerous, very dangerous, even for one with Shadowhunter blood and plenty of runes that should keep him safe.

“Magnus-” Alec began, and then stopped. He didn’t know what to say. What was there to say? Magnus, why did you distract me? Magnus, what happens now? Magnus, what just happened?

“Oh my God, Alec.” Magnus rushed forward and, in an extremely uncharacteristic display of affection, pulled Alec to him. “I’m so sorry. What have I done?” He pulled back, and his eyes narrowed. “Come to think of it, this shouldn’t have happened. It’s impossible.”

“Well, Magnus, no one’s perfect.” He was already starting to sound weak. “I don’t blame you.”

“No, Alec, that was my fault. What shouldn’t have happened is that thing getting in in the first place. My wards are strong enough to keep out almost every type of demon, certainly the small ones like those. That’s easy, for a warlock. It shouldn’t have been able to come within, oh, eight feet of that window, much less inside. It’s just impossible.”

“Well, maybe your wards are broken, I don’t know.”

“Impossible. Wards don’t just break. Someone must have taken them down deliberately.”

“Nice. Could you pretty please do something about this bite first, though?”

Magnus’s eyes snapped back up to the long cut on the Hunter’s face. His fingers traced it lightly, and he pressed softly on the skin around it. The poison seemed to be spreading already and Alec’s veins were turning a sickening black-green. He was instantly alert. “Okay, go sit down, let me go and get a few things and I, uh, I’ll fix that up for you.”

Alec obediently stumbled back into the other room and slumped in a chair, his eyes slipping shut. Magnus gave a great shuddering breath and began pulling open cupboards, grabbing things off of shelves, and tossing everything that might be remotely useful into a small pile at his feet. When he had gathered a large number of magical objects, he paused. Then he remembered- he hadn’t needed any of this junk, even for a demon bite, in hundreds of years. “Fuck, Magnus,” he berated himself under his breath, “this one really is making you lose it.” He threw everything he had got out back onto the floor, kicked it out of his way, and rushed into the other room, wherein Alec was already almost glowing with the darkness rushing through his bloodstream.


	3. at a loss for what to do

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magnus is confused and wonders, firstly, how any of it could have happened, and secondly, how he is supposed to so anything to fix it.

Magnus rushed to Alec’s side and pressed gingerly on the edges of the cut. It had turned a dull, sickly green and Alec’s usually bright eyes seemed dim. His left hand moved to entwine with the Hunter’s right and he held back what he hoped weren’t tears. He hadn’t cried in, oh, two hundred years? Two hundred and fifty? And then it had been because he had finally witnessed the death of the last person he had known as a child, none of them having been immortal, as he was. And now he was weeping over someone’s demon bite? He’d seen plenty of them in his time, and many worse than this. But there was something disconcerting about the fact that, not only was this his boyfriend and quite possibly the only person he’d really loved since his mother, but someone who had been under his protection when he got the bite. 

And then there was the matter of his wards. He hadn’t felt them being taken down. In fact, he could still sense them, as he always did, with seemingly no change. And they had worked well enough last night when a group of vamps had tried to get a demon into his party. Maybe they’d been mucking around, maybe not, but his protection had stopped the demon in its tracks and sent it right back to where it came from. That demon had been of a bigger and stronger variety than this one, and it had got in. there hadn’t even seemed to be anything special about it.

But now Alec was bitten, and he wasn’t entirely sure his usual methods would work- no normal _Achaierai_ could have gotten in, and if this wasn’t the usual type… the venom could be different, the teeth could be different, and effects of either of these could be different… Magnus shook himself. No time for silliness. His spells would work just fine, they always did.

He steeled himself and laid a gentle hand over the bite. He closed his eyes and searched for the feeling, the aura, of the magic he needed for this- there it was. Primal and a little wild, this magic came from the deepest crevices of demon nature, and therefore warlock’s too. It was the most instinctual form of magic, and had never failed him. He slowly began to release it into the wound, and then allowed it to increase to a quick flow. But something wasn’t right.

Alec should already have been completely healed after, maybe, three minutes, for this type of demon. Magnus estimated it had been at least five. He pushed more of his power into what he was attempting to do, and felt no change. It wasn’t as though there was something blocking him, the magic was certainly flowing, it just wasn’t doing anything.

He pulled back, slouching slightly as he knelt, and ran a hand through his messy, bed- tousled hair. “Alec,” he asked softly, “can you hear me?”

Alec stirred, raised his head from his chest, and shot Magnus a gaze that was so- not weak, but vulnerable and innocent, that the warlock had to bite his lip to keep it together.

“Okay, honey, well, I can’t seem to be able to do anything about this so I’m going to have to take you to, uh, your Silent Brothers, I think. They’re good with this crap, right?”

“Sure,” he responded, still quiet.

Chewing his bottom lip in worry, Magnus picked Alec up, one arm under his knees and the other at his back. Alec put both his arms around the warlock’s shoulders and leant his head against his shoulder. Magnus would normally have thought it was adorable, and would have laughed at Alec for being overemotional and almost _too_ keen on cuddles, but this was different. This wasn’t emotional at all, but the only way Alec could hold himself. He was already too weak to sit up in Magnus’s arms.

With a deep, shuddering breath, Magnus drew on his strength to fight back the tears that were still threatening to spill over and started down the stairs.

He ran the whole way to where the Brothers lived without stopping and although he drew some strange looks from people on the streets, he didn’t stop. He’d been associates with some of the Brothers before, and knew they would do him a favour if he asked. Coupled with Alec’s being a Shadowhunter, he hoped that would be enough to convince them to do all they could. One brother stood waiting for him and, expressionless, led him down under the graves. He stopped soon, however, and turned to face him. Magnus heard his voice in his head.

_ You may go no further, Warlock, as well you know. This is a Shadowhunter place. To bring you this far is already a stretch of rules I will not break. You will give the boy to me and I will take him to those who can heal his wounds.  _ He paused. _Another thing, Magnus Bane, before you go. What makes you think, as I can see you do, that he will be returned to you and not to his family?_

Magnus deposited Alec unto the Brother and turned to leave, but he stopped short at this last retort. “I hadn’t known you Brothers could be spiteful. I must say it is refreshing to know you’re not completely devoid of humanity and, God forbid, emotions. But, since you ask, I think he will be returned to me because as much as you may not like it, he is my boyfriend. He won’t want to go back to his family. And even if you force him to, he won’t stay there long. Plus, his mother loves me.” He smiled fleetingly, gave a wink the Brother wouldn’t see but would know of anyway, and left, his heart sinking as he abandoned Alec to the Silent Brothers in the hope he could be cured.

His hands in his pockets, Magnus trudged home. The walk seemed to take hours- how far was it to his place? It had seemed like barely ten minutes when he was rushing his boyfriend to the only place he might be helped, but now it seemed an almost immeasurable distance. In a spur- of- the- moment decision, he slumped at a table in a coffee shop a street away from his home. If he was honest with himself, and he tried not to be, he didn’t want to go home at all. Not until Alec was safe and well and he could carry him back up the stairs and throw him on the bed and listen to his laugh.

He ordered something off the menu, the Saturday lunch special or whatever it was, and sat, his head in his hands, until the waitress returned with it. He didn’t even want any of it. He pulled the coffee towards him, and, with a sniff of it, realised he’d ordered it the way he always made it for Alec. Strong, brewed, lots of milk, and two spoons of honey. With a small smile, he pulled his knees up, watched the people walking by outside and sipped at it


End file.
